What I wish to say in this moment

Even in the mistiest stillness, there is a gift.

This morning’s beginning was a gentle reminder of how thought and intention shape our experience. For a while, I had drifted off course, I had taken the sail down from my boat and wondered why I wasn’t moving anywhere. Where were the deep visions and overflowing feelings?

Yet taking down the sail was important, because my direction was changing, and while waiting for a new calibration, it is better to pause. Now, on some level, things are clearer to me. I stand at a turning point, stepping into a more complete form of myself, into the form that also accepts the gifts within. I am not only a wild-hearted being of wounds, but also a wise and steady Woman.

At times, the contrasts of life make it hard to find the middle ground, the place that unites it all. But I believe that place is the heart, and the childlike innocence that also lives within me. Somewhere along the way, when facing too much pain, I abandoned that innocence. I said to it, “Go away, this is not for you.” Not out of cruelty, but to protect that curious and tender part of me.

That choice also gave seriousness more space within me, I felt there was no time or room for joy, that it wasn’t safe.

Yet now, as I look around and sense life, one of the strongest feelings rising in me is curiosity. The Holy Child within has returned, it never truly left, except into an illusion of the mind, as if imagination itself had been locked away, waiting for a new Dawn. And now, it is that Dawn, when the Child takes the hand of the Mother, who is Earth, Shadow, Chaos, Death, Flow and of the Father, who is Sky, Golden Light, Order, Life, Bliss. Together, they walk the Path of Life forward, understanding the strength born of their trinity, the unity of all things. It is time to dance.

Life does not have to be a constant chase of storms.

Once, I believed that only in the storm could I feel alive, and every windless day was a small piece of death. There I see a reflection of how I resisted one of my gifts, I could not bear peace, because chaos was what I knew. Balance and peace felt like forbidden words. But that was only fear, fear of entering the state of wholeness. I was not yet ready to let the Father’s bliss flow into me. But yes, now I am ready.

I have come full circle in the embrace of Earth’s power. Time to let Heaven in my heart.

The Mother within me is not made to live this life alone.

I am everything and nothing.

I allow Life to flow through me, whole, radiant, a beautiful current that makes existence rich and fruitful.

Amen.