The Sophia spiral

There has been a peculiar picture, feeling, transmission moving through me for some time, and now I finally know what it means.

I’ve been drawing several pictures about 1-2-3 ( and 3-6-9), numbers reversed like mirrors to each other. This carries many meanings, but I have been especially curious about what it is telling me, personally in this moment.

Today it landed.

It is the same story that has been circulating through my whole year.

First, swimming in the muddy, wild waters of Lilith, Kali, Shadow, the Wild Woman, unleashing the chains that had kept me small. And hating this emerging power. I could not stand the idea of an unrestricted version of myself. I had used so much time and effort to put those chains on, and now what, to break them?

But there was no stopping the roar of nature rising in me.

I was faced with aspects of myself that were persecutors, dominators, slow-downers. I cannot say I met them with grace, but as we say in Finland, paska juttu mutta tulipa tehtyä, a shitty job, but it’s done now.

It felt like drinking concrete. Disgusting. Disorienting.

And I cannot believe that this had once been a kind of norm for me, before I started remembering my true form.

Christ-mass called me into my heart. And as I waited for a smooth, loving, beautiful encounter, something else was waiting for me.

All the ways I had been holding my heart closed and armored were revealed. I was attacked viciously and thrown into a pit of darkness, only to be shown the way to my heart. Because in the dark, the only thing that will save you is Divine Grace, the light of your heart.

So I have been praying for my heart, vigorously, relentlessly, with fervent prayers until my knees ache.

Because archetypes help me open into deeper wisdom about what is happening within me, I turn to them again.

This is the cycle of descend and ascend.

Descent (Lilith)

↓

Staying (Mary)

↓

Clarity (Sophia)

↓

Deeper truth revealed

↓

Descent again

Not a ladder.

A spiral of maturation.

I am bringing together my Lilith and my Mary Magdalene parts, and from this union, Sophia is born.

The roots, underworld, shadow, wilderness unite with the light of my heart, witness consciousness, erotic devotion, anointed presence. Through this union, I gain access to true wisdom.

I do feel that I am still struggling to welcome Mary. I still abandon my body. But I know the way. I can see the light.

Sophia is not born yet. She is omnipresent, but my small mind still resists. And yet, step by step, something is unraveling.

Sophia will not be born through understanding alone. She will be born the day I no longer leave my body when love asks me to stay.

#Sophia #spirals #trinity