Resting in uncertainty

I have been having a very profound experience about peace and feeling of safety in a moment where life is serving you the most uncertain settings. For several weeks I have been in a situation where I never know where I will be in the coming weeks or even days, constantly things are shifting.

For a long time my movement has been powered up by fear. For the past few years it has been coming more and more conscious and obvious as saying ”here I am, can you look at me”, as traumas usually do, they are very happy to surface and move on. I have been having deep resistance to look, which I do understand has a lot to do with not feeling safe. Because If I look, if I feel, what will happen and who will catch me if I fall.

But as feelings are here to show us the way home, so has been the situation with my fear. Now I realize what my home is, at least now it consists of three things.

My body, my energetic center and my feelings. When I’m present to all this something magical happens. Instantly I’m attuned to the wonder of Now moment, what matters the most right now.

My missing piece has been feelings. I have understood mentally how important it is to feel them and listen to the message they carry. But a subconscious fear has prevented me to actually have the embodied experience of them.

Now with the help of different kind of co-travellers there has been a shift.

I think a big part of my journey in this moment has been the support emerging in my life. Maybe that is why they say ”teacher appears when the student is ready”, there is a constant give and take being the teacher and the student, always understanding not one person is ”behind” you or more advanced, just different parts of the cycle of evolution.

This unconditional love of my fellow travellers has been melting away the last barriers holding up against my heart. And trough this opening a big emotion (feeling stuck in trauma) was released. The fear driving me was able to be seen at last, after so many years of neglect. Time to go home and time to see I’m already there. This release also opened my feelings of this moment, bringing me to the present moment with a force and softness.

What an absolute wonder is to have support and co-travellers.

This day has been utterly filled with gratitude and I want to say few thanks.

Thank you Johanna for your gentle guidance. You are a gift of radiance.

Thank you Aleksi for your love. You are a treasure.

Thank you Liis for being there for me. You are an angel.

Thank you Janta for the plumming work. You are magic.

Thank you possibilty management and especially Clinton Callahan for showing me steps closer to my truth. You guys are something else🔥

And last but not least, thank you mother for believing in me. You are a warrior of heart❤️

#opening #home #love