The mystery

How we are woven into the great mystery of Life.

It is through the initiatory process of actually stepping into the body, into the earth, and feeling.

I have been greatly overwhelmed in the past month, and what struck me was that the only uncomfortable part was resisting it.

But while putting my back against a huge rock by the stream, all at once I was one with the earth and no longer carrying this great process of birthing a new reality alone.

Time and time again, I lose myself in separation. And why is that? Because it was my coping mechanism for a long, long time. And I’m still learning. I’m not fully realized, grounded, or enlightened. And there is no reason to be anything else than what is, right now, right here. With all the flaws, all the pain, all the light and shadow of my being.

A recent reel that I also shared on my wall talks about women being and healing in relation. And that is also reflected here. My biggest pain ever has been separation—from myself, from my family, from other humans overall, from God. And nothing has hurt me more than this great illusion.

Because in truth, there is no such thing. We make this up to falsely protect ourselves from harm. For me, it probably began in very early childhood, being completely overwhelmed with every possible detail that I was able to sense from my immediate surroundings.

The subconscious field of information that I was introduced to was heavy, like the rich soil of the jungle. Filled with the darkest and most beautiful matter to make gold of.

It was some years ago when I realized what a gift it has been to have inherited this much material for my growth. With very little success, I tried communicating this to my parents. They thought I was going crazy and told me to get help.

It has been only lately that I have started to meet people who share the understanding of the alchemical path in life. The hidden mystery and gift of shadows, the raw material you are working with, the foundation for your ability to innerstand the whole human experience.

My five planets in Scorpio have been loud, but as the dust settles, I’m beginning to see the path this freakshow of a Life has been setting for me.

And there is no other way I could actually exist. With my all, in my own space of Love.

And so, in gratitude and perfectly imperfect ways, I continue this earthly journey. My beautiful bare butt against this sun-warmed rock, letting the stream wash away anything blocking my flow.

As within, so without.

(Kitten picture just for cuteness overload, one of the large kittycrew here in Tuscany)